The countdown begins....

We finally did it :) six weeks, 50+ houses, two realtors, and numerous Internet searches later....we have our home! The home inspection was completed last week and came back fairly clean. There are a few things (old gutters, cracked sidewalk, etc) that we are getting estimates on today.  Good news is, in 25 days (or less!!) we'll get to sleep in our new home!!

Husband man has already asked me to stop counting down each day, it's annoying to him haha but I just won't tell him :) I don't have photos on my iPad, but I'll try to upload some soon. I already picked paint colors out for our bedroom and my sunroom. I can hardly wait. It's such a big house with extra bedrooms that we can grow into....hopefully with a nursery and not just a bunch of stuff :)

It doesn't look like I'll have a teaching position this year. I'm thinking about going into something different and still working with kids. We haven't decided anything permanently, but if I'm not going to work is it really worth my time subbing only to walk away from a job in a few years. I don't know? I go back and forth. It's what I love to do and I've been told I'm pretty daw gone good at it. Ivealso been told I won't be able to leave my kids so I'll probably end up staying home with them. Both our moms did that when we were little....I just don't know.

I also don't know if I'm ready to enter mommy world yet. With husband man being 6 years older than me, maybe we are getting closer to that time. I have this huge fear of still not being needed or wanted. What would I do if my kids aren't affection and don't want hugs? What if they are early independent kiddos who waltz right not preschool without a second look. When I teach, I know I have students who need me to be there. There day isn't the same without me.

I've been told its very selfish of me, and I have come to agree, but that doesn't mean I've ended the struggle with feeling like I gave up my whole world for this move. Yes the hours are better for him, but honestly, I did believe there would be something here for me too. There still isn't. No one needs a newbie teacher they never met before.  Somedays it's almost suffocating....I just want to have a reason for being here.

25 days.....at least I can start painting then :)